Weekly Episode 42: Better Business Bureau revisited

I returned to the Better Business Bureau for another episode of their Good Guide To Business podcast. This time we discussed many specifics of the impact communication has on business. This episode is a replay of their podcast.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02: 0:00

Welcome back to the Communication Mastery podcast with me, Mark Berlinson. This is where we unleash the power of understanding to build bridges and not boxes. Because we understand that communication is the oxygen of teamwork. We all need communication to thrive in life and work. And in this podcast, we want to increase your communication mastery so that we can all learn to adapt to one another and be effective in our communication. So thanks for being here. Let's learn together.

SPEAKER_00: 0:40

Effective communication isn't just a quote-unquote soft skill. It's a strategic advantage that impacts nearly every function of the business. From team meetings to project handoffs to customer interactions and leadership decisions. The way information is shared can make or break daily operations. For mission-driven organizations and small businesses alike, strong communication helps align goals, streamline workflows, and create a healthier, more productive workplace. Today, we're continuing our conversation with a renowned communication coach to explore how businesses can apply core communication principles to practical, day-to-day moments that can shape success.

SPEAKER_01: 1:23

Welcome to BBB's The Good Guide to Business, presented by Capital Vacations.

SPEAKER_00: 1:27

The Good Guide is all about conversations with businesses, organizations, local leaders who are going above and beyond to make our community a better place.

SPEAKER_01: 1:37

So sit down and get ready to hear from this episode's special guest, Mark Berlinson, a BBB Accredited Communication Coach.

SPEAKER_00: 1:44

Mark, welcome back. Thank you so much. Good to be back with you. Yeah, we're excited to talk to you again and I guess kind of dive into further depth on how communication can help all kinds of different parts of a business. But for starters, you know, how have you been? What's uh new with you and your business?

SPEAKER_02: 1:59

Yeah, I've uh I've really enjoyed uh the the connections that the BBB has given me and uh been able to help a number of different businesses uh because of that connection uh to improve their teamwork, to increase their communication. And uh funnily enough, I find that also rolls over then into the the personal lives of the employees or the business owners. And so often when I'll run a workshop for a business, one of the comments I get in a break is, I really need this for my spouse, or can you fix my kids? That kind of stuff. So it's been a bit of both, uh, but I really enjoy the business interaction because of the difference it can really make.

SPEAKER_01: 2:34

Yeah, and speaking of business interactions, we actually saw you recently because we had an awards event um down in Myrtle Beach, which is a new thing for us. Um in the past, we've only had one awards event in Raleigh, and now we're expanding since we have that service area. So how was that event for you? Did you get to network and definitely, yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 2:53

Good to connect with uh I there were a couple of potential clients there, folks who came up to me after they'd been awarded awards and said, Hey, I really need to get with you. I know it's been a while, you know, that kind of thing. Uh so uh shout out to Rick Vines, who won the Vines Plumbing, the Large Business Award. Uh, I know he's working on connecting with me. And uh so if he's listening to the podcast, come on, Rick, put come through. He's a friend of the show. We've had him on the show. Absolutely. He's a great guy. He's a great guy. He really knows what he's doing, and he's all about making it better. You know, he invests in his employees, and that really makes a difference. It shows. I mean, I'm a client of his. Uh his company does my plumbing at home because they're so good, uh, because he invests in his people, and that's why he wants to get me involved as well. So yeah, yeah. It's all a synergy. I love that.

SPEAKER_01: 3:38

Yeah, yeah, definitely. And we're always looking to expand the awards down there. So, you know, shameless plug on that. Our applications come out in the fall. Um, so that just happened. It'll be a little bit before our applications come out, but be looking out for that because your business can also apply.

SPEAKER_00: 3:54

Definitely, yeah. So, Mark, let's kind of do a little bit of a recap of our last episode with you. Um, can you just start with some of the basics here and remind us what communication coaching does?

SPEAKER_02: 4:05

Yeah, certainly. Uh, what we do is first of all, we run uh a profile for each person in the business uh that helps them to understand their own unique blend of communication styles. And then I teach them the seven different communication styles that comprise that profile. Because everyone they work with has the same seven communication languages within their profile, just in a different blend. And so understanding how I'm wired and then understanding how you're wired will help us to work together far more effectively. But also, it doesn't just work within the office or within the business because you then apply that to every person you interact with, whether it's a client you're serving or a potential sales lead, uh, whatever, uh, maybe it's a customer service issue. Uh, you can apply that same understanding to every interaction.

SPEAKER_01: 4:54

Yeah. Um, and then can you go into a little bit more about what kind of services you offer to clients that you have?

SPEAKER_02: 5:02

Yeah, sure. So I I start with the self-awareness portion. That's what I was referring to with the with the profile itself, because so often that's I find what most of my clients lack is the ability to understand themselves. They know they're who they are and how how they operate, but they don't know why they operate like that. So having that self-awareness can make a huge difference to how they interact with other people. And then, secondly, the service I offer is is that ongoing coaching in being able to adapt to other people. So very often when you work in a in an organization, whether it's the BBB here or any other business, you've got others around you who you know they're different, but you don't necessarily know how to connect with them effectively or how to get across what it is you need to communicate, how to adapt from the way you're wired to the way they're wired so that there's a connection and not a collision. Uh, and that's the thing that I find the most valuable, the most rewarding from what I do is helping people understand each other better.

SPEAKER_00: 6:02

Yeah, and that can go so far in the workplace, you know. So I want to cover now how we can take some of what we've talked about just now and in the previous episode, and I guess apply that to different functions of a business. So, I mean, let's start with sales, you know, sales is a huge component of a lot of businesses. A lot of our listeners, um, we're even in like the former sales space right now, recording our episode. Um, so you know, that's just gonna show you that's kind of embedded in a lot of what we talk about. So, how can improving communication skills directly impact a sales team's performance?

SPEAKER_02: 6:36

Well, sales is all about communication. Uh, unless you can form a connection with a potential customer or client, uh, you're not going to be able to sell to them. And what I find so often when I work with sales teams is that they're very good on the script and the and the basics and all of the components of the sale, but they don't have the skill to make a connection with each client who's different. So the first thing I'll start out with is to say, you know, how many of you uh have experienced that every lead you follow up is the same? And of course, the answer is no, none of them are the same. They're all completely different. So, how would it help if you could figure out in a few seconds how to make a real connection with the next lead that you've been presented with or the next conversation that you're having? Um, because some people are wired to be very thoughtful, and so you've got to interact with them in a thoughtful kind of way. Uh, others are much more about feelings and emotions, and and you've got to make a heart connection with them in order for them to trust you enough to buy from you. Uh or some people are much more just get to the bottom line or let's get this done, or what are the three or four things that you've got that I need, sign the contract, get it done. Uh but you can't approach each interaction in the same way. Because if you approach a get it done person with a feelings approach, well, they're gonna just brush you off because you're wasting their time. Conversely, if you if you come at a at a thinking person with a well, let's just get it done, sign the bottom line, we're like, well, no, you haven't given me time to think about it, you know. So if we don't honor the way that each lead is wired, then we're not gonna be effective. And you'll get to that standard kind of um sales training where you know you've got 10 leads and nine of them are gonna say no. Well, actually, you could change that if you could connect with them better. Uh, but you have to be able to figure it out, and that's how learning those communication styles can really help, because you can zero in pretty quickly once you learn it, into how does this person need me to connect with them to be able to give them the information because people don't just buy what you're selling, they buy you. And and so there's got to be that person-to-person connection. And if I just come across as the way I'm normally wired uh and approach it in the way I might uh just as a sort of standard approach, I'm not gonna be as successful as I will be if I've learned to adapt by understanding the the differences in the clients that I'm trying to work with.

SPEAKER_01: 8:58

Yeah. You kind of already went into this next question, some by addressing like not approaching everyone the same way. But are there other um mistakes that salespeople can make that coaching, communication coaching can help fix?

SPEAKER_02: 9:12

Yeah, I think one of the things, uh and again I did allude to this a little, but one of the things is to literally just focus on trying to make the sale. Um because when I try and focus on making the sale, I'm trying too hard. Um what people need is for their for their need to be met, uh, for their pain point to be addressed, for their uh for their challenge to be solved. So I'm not selling a sale, I'm selling a solution. Um and so again, I've got to be able to hear from the person in whatever way I need to get it out of them. And again, it's gonna come out differently. Some people you're in sales and they say, Well, I've got this problem, you know, my my team's all in conflict. Use it in my analogy, when I'm selling to people, I'll get some bosses who'll come to me and say, Hey, my team are all in conflict, I need help. And obviously, they're an action person, it's get to the point, like, yeah, that's fine. It'll cost you this much, we'll need two hours, get them all in a room, tell me the details. Um, and we jump straight to it. But that would be a very rare way. Uh, if I approached every sale like that, I wouldn't have as much business as I do. Yeah, um, a lot of other people need me to build that interaction with them because they're much more heart-based, they're much more, they want to feel that they know me, they want to feel that they they're understood, uh, they want to know that I care about their whole team and want to draw them together, all those kinds of things. None of that comes through in the previous example I gave you. Uh so being able to not just stick to the script, although obviously a lot of sales training, particularly in some of our businesses, is there's there is a script and we've got to work our way through it. But if if I get a call from somebody and they're clearly just following a script, it's like, please take me off your list, click.

SPEAKER_01: 10:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 10:54

If somebody, and even sometimes the script is so tell me how your day's going. I don't want to tell you how my day's going because I don't know. You're a strain.

SPEAKER_01: 11:03

I'm not the kind of person that wants to.

SPEAKER_02: 11:05

I am the kind of person that wants to, but if you open up a sales call with tell me how your day's going, I'm you're trying to just follow the script to get me hooked so that I'll, you know, and I'm not interested in that. However, if I'm if I really do have a connection, uh then I will be interested to hear you. And more importantly, I want you to hear me. Uh, and so those are the kind of mistakes that I often will help sales folks to get around. And the other thing I find with sales teams is that mostly they are in the how can I put it, they're not driven as much as motivated. So they're the motivated folks in in an organization. You can't be in sales if you haven't got some kind of internal motivation. In in my terminology, their their overall intensity is high. That's not that they're intense as a person, it's that their motivation to communicate is high. Uh, and so that then means that the sales team will probably have three of those seven languages more prominent, but again, those three different languages can easily collide with each other, and so you end up with conflicts within the team. That's another area that I've often worked with, is where you help the sales team themselves to understand. One might be motivated uh to bring uh encouragement and enthusiasm to the process, another one might be much more strategic. They've still got that high intensity, but they're coming at it from a different direction. Um, and so to understand each other in those ways, they can actually leverage each other's strengths in order to actually close a sale that one may not be able to close. Hey, let me get my friend or my colleague Nick to come in on this call because he's wired differently. You wouldn't say this part, but he's wired different from me, and he can say it in a way that I I'm not as good at saying it. Yeah. And I can learn from the way he handles the close, uh, and then I can grow in that. It's a question of adapting.

SPEAKER_00: 13:01

Yeah. And I feel like helping kind of bridge that all together, you know, would be the leader of that sales department or the leader in that organization, right? And we probably touched on this in the last episode too, but can you just remind us how like communication coaching can help with the leaders in organizations, especially, I guess, in these kinds of situations where you do kind of have maybe even different sort of communication styles within that organization.

SPEAKER_02: 13:26

Totally, yes. And actually, first thought on that, Nick, is that if you don't have a lot of different communication styles in an organization, you're probably not a good team leader because you've built a team that's all alike. Uh and a team that's all alike isn't a team at all, it's just a bunch of clones. Yes. Uh so to have an effective team, you've got to have those differences. And and so here's where I really uh find a reward from the work I can do because with a small business, you need, as the leader of that team, the owner of that business or the manager of that department, you need to be able to understand your people uh in a way that brings the best out of them. We don't have room in in particular in the small to medium business space to have just sort of spare people. Um and and so helping the leader to understand that my team are not all wired the same as I am, and that's that's a sign of good leadership that I've drawn people to me, that I can staff my weaknesses if you want to put it that way. Um, but also then to understand so what does each one bring to the picture? I'll sometimes use the analogy of a jigsaw puzzle. You know, there's nothing more frustrating than spending time on a jigsaw puzzle and finding you've got a piece missing. Uh then the second most frustrating thing is trying to hammer a piece in where it doesn't quite fit. And both of those analogies apply with a team. Even if it's only a team of half a dozen, uh, they're all going to be different. And so what I find when I'm coaching teams like that is that the leader needs to understand the strength they bring to forming the team. And again, very often they're people with a higher level of intensity. That's why they're the leader. Yeah. Um, but um, I'm thinking of one leader in particular, and I I'll sort of fudge the details to avoid uh incriminating anybody, but one leader in particular I'm thinking of who has a big team and they're an effective team, but they wanted to be more effective. And this particular leader was very strong on the emotive level of leadership, building a heart connection with people, but not so strong on the on the cognitive level of explaining the detail and mapping out a plan and a strategy in a way that others could follow. Now he had a strategy and he would explain it enthusiastically, but he would miss out some of the steps. And so I helped him to see that a lot of his team were strong in the thinking type of communication where they needed the steps so they could follow them. And once they followed the steps, then everything would move more smoothly. Um, and then he had one situation where he had one team member who was much more kinetic in his communication style, much more action-oriented, much more black and white, right and wrong, um, charge forward make a difference kind of approach. And this particular person had not been brought into the team in a way that enabled them to blend that style with the others in the team. And uh and so the the uh the leader actually had to encourage that person to find another job because they weren't they weren't able to adapt um or they weren't willing to adapt. And unfortunately, they decided to leave before I got my hands on them, so I could maybe have helped them, but uh uh but the leader had to pull up another communication style that wasn't uh a primary one for him in order to bring that um that form of leadership to the table. Uh so the mover language is the one of like, well, you you really don't fit in this setting, and and unless you're willing to make some changes, we just need to say goodbye because this isn't going to work. And you're always gonna be bringing that conflict into our team rather than bringing uh your strengths in a way that blends with others. So with the leader, they have to start by understanding themselves, uh, but then understanding what each member of their team brings and how to mold that in, how to help their team bring their strengths to the table uh in a way that doesn't conflict but but helps to to uh to bring strength to the whole team. American business wastes billions of dollars every year on miscommunication. If you're ready to change that trend, invest in communication IQ today because it will give you a great return in terms of employee alignment, retention, customer engagement, profitability, sales uh outcomes, all of those areas will grow as you understand the science of communication. So go to my website at markburlenson.com, click on the business button, and let's have an introductory chat today about how I can help your business be more productive by enhancing communication.

SPEAKER_01: 18:18

And then from sort of like a customer service, customer facing standpoint, what can communications coaching do or focus on to improve it? Or a lot of times customer service they deal with, you know, conflict with complaints from customers. How can coaching help with that?

SPEAKER_02: 18:37

Yeah, again, it's a big deal. When you've got a complaint with a business, you need to know that you're heard. And so the way that we feel heard is different for each of the communication styles. So again, a customer service person who understands the seven communication styles can very quickly zero in on what communication style is this complaint coming in. So it may be focused around what you've done that's wrong. You know, that my my my plumbing's broke, uh, the the guy who came to fix it fitted the wrong part, and now it's not working at all. Um, well, now this is clearly action-focused, right and wrong. Uh, we want to actually show that we care and we're going to take action right away. So it's got to be a very quick uh response to that. Um, on the other hand, somebody who feels like they uh they weren't fully understood in the selling of a product and it's not quite what they wanted. Now we've got much more emotion involved. You know, well, the salesperson didn't listen to me or didn't understand what I really needed. Now I feel uh key word, I feel like this isn't the right thing. I feel like I've made a mistake. Well, now I want to respond with feeling rather than with action. Uh or again, the cognitive side of things, it may be that the person uh sees that what they've been sold is only going to achieve part of their goals. And so I Need to then switch into thinking mode and work out with them can we work out some more steps beyond what they've been sold in order for them to then reach the goal that they were working toward? Or do they need to understand the w the the the productivity of something they've been sold? You know, so like for if it's a financial product, for example, yes, okay, the stock market had a bad week, um, but let me explain to you uh or help you understand that actually over the longer term, these these bad weeks are actually good weeks because we use the and explain that the management that's within that for us to use the opportunity to buy stuff while it's low so then it goes up, those kinds of things. So switching into whichever communication style the complaint or the issue is coming from goes a huge way towards actually resolving some of those uh uh issues that that customers would have with businesses and helps them to feel like, oh wow, yeah, this business really cares. Which of course is the is the whole point of customer service. Flip the script the opposite way. If I don't do that, it immediately gives the impression that I'm not willing to actually meet you where you are, I'm not willing to hear you express yourself in a way that you need to express yourself. About 40% of the population have a first language as the responder language, which is an emotive language that needs to be heard and understood. And so to cut somebody off when they're explaining immediately puts that language into distress and they're going to immediately be much more resistant. One of the things I say to team leaders is you need to get the responder language on board first, because when the responder language is on board, whoever it is, we've all got it somewhere in our profiles, but particularly if it's first language for somebody, if the responders are on board, then they're they're your cheerleaders all the way. If they're not on board, then they're going to put the brakes on all the way. That can be they can be the most resistant to movement and change if they don't understand where we're going, if they don't feel included. So again, given that you know 40 plus percent of the population has that as their first language, one of the key things I teach customer service folks is you need to listen, you need to hear, you need to help them see that you understand what they're expressing. So there's active listening involved, there's there's repeating and reflecting and that kind of thing, reaching them on an emotive level so they begin to trust me as we then find a solution together.

SPEAKER_00: 22:30

Yeah. So speaking of customer service and I guess complaints, especially, you know, through BBB. Some of the things that we're big on processing, and you know, those are text-based. This is something online. So what challenges come with that versus talking to someone over the phone or in person about a complaint?

SPEAKER_02: 22:49

Yes. So text only gives you about 10% of communication. Roughly. I mean there have been that's not a lot. No, exactly. So you need to understand that you're already missing 90% of the connection. And so very often, uh, if you're able to, um, you want to turn it to at least voice-to-voice connection to resolve the issue. Um and so that wouldn't that would involve some kind of, I'm so sorry that this has happened. I really would like to understand it more. May we have a phone call.

SPEAKER_00: 23:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 23:23

Rather than um, you know, these are the facts as I found them, uh, and and you know, only 10% of what you're saying is correct, and we're okay, you know. Defensiveness at that first point is always going to be a problem when it's a complaint. If you uh now, of course, some people, yeah, there are some people who just make their lives are full of complaining about things, and then you will have some situations where you're not able to resolve it. But many complaints can be resolved by getting past that first 10% of communication, getting away from just the facts. Because here's the thing I found, and I don't have any scientific proof for this, but a lot of people who will send a text-based complaint actually are people who are uh thinking or feeling people. They're not texting out of action, they they've been feeling uh uh wronged, or they've been thinking about how they've been wronged, and both of those need more interaction to in order to know that they've been heard or they've been understood, um, or that they've been given the freedom uh to express themselves. And so that doesn't happen if I simply react uh on on a text. Now that may not be um may not be the only possibility. Uh sometimes people won't let you talk to them, so you do have to respond in in a text-based way. Uh and then there are two components to that. The first is you actually have to uh give it a space so that you're not reacting out of defensiveness. You actually need to look at what they're complaining about, what their can what their issue is, and see what can I learn out of this so that I can acknowledge, even if it's only, you know, it might be 10-20% of their complaint is actually valid, or it may be 90% of their complaint is valid and we completely messed up. But I need to actually take the time to reflect on that and to look at that and see what we can learn so that I can acknowledge there is some basis to their complaint. Very rare that there is a zero basis to a complaint. Um, more often it's that there is uh there's a basis that's been inflated, uh, and therefore, if I react and respond to just the inflated part and miss the rest, then I can actually pour gasoline on the fire without realizing it. Um so I need to acknowledge, yes, I hear you, because that again, if 40 plus percent of the of the population is primary responder language, they need to know that they've been heard and understood. Um if you can't take it to voice-to-voice communication, you have to respond with text, there has to be some acknowledgement of the frustration or the pain or the inconvenience or whatever it is that's embedded in the complaint in order to move it forward toward a resolution. And then you can get into more of the could you tell me more about, could you explain, asking for more facts, asking for more detail, so that A, we can address what their issue is, and B, we can learn from it so that we can avoid it in the future. Because uh a complaint that's simply brushed off is a wasted complaint. Um, we can always learn from complaints. Uh no business sets out to cause complaints from their customers. Um, but actually, if we're honest, most of the complaints have some basis in you know uh an inconvenience uh or something where we didn't uh do as good of a job as we wanted. And so if we will acknowledge that, if I'll take responsibility for my part, even if it is only 20% of the whole picture, uh then it helps to de-escalate uh the the issue for someone.

SPEAKER_01: 27:09

Yeah. And going back a little bit to your comment about text being like 10% of communication, that got me thinking about how a lot of workspaces are either entirely virtual now or hybrid now. Um have you worked with teams or offices that that is the case? And how do is is working through communication issues different if it's hybrid or remote? Or like how how does that work?

SPEAKER_02: 27:36

So hybrid environments are different. Um what it does is it actually accentuates the need to understand one another. It actually dials that up to 11 on the volume scale, if you like, because any misunderstanding will be amplified in a remote or hybrid environment. So actually, the vi the value of communication coaching can actually increase with a remote work setting. Um, I'm thinking of one remote work group that I worked with, this is a year or two ago now, where they were all remote across the nation, so they had a time difference as well as a distance issue. Uh but as they began to understand how each was wired differently, they actually began to understand more. And I believe they made some adjustments to the way they interacted. So they introduced they already had a kind of a virtual stand-up video meeting each morning or each day, or some point of the day that was uh accessible to everyone, just a sort of five-minute um connect. But then they also introduced a regular um meeting where they'd they'd collected what they wanted to talk about in a non in an asynchronous way. So they had, I don't know if it was Slack or one of those kind of um tools where they could gather what they wanted to talk about, what they wanted to address. And then the team leader, understanding the different profile specifics of some of their team, they had this was a if I remember, it was a graphic design um you know creative consultancy. So they had a lot of uh of emotive languages because that's where most of the creativity sits in our profiles, but then they also had a bunch of folks who were much more to do with account management, who were much more in the thinking cognitive realm. And so the team leader was able to kind of pass out the different things that were being compiled in their whatever it was, their Slack channel for their for their weekly meeting or monthly meeting, whatever it was they had. And they would start with the emotive so that the emotive folks were on board first, um, and they would address some of those areas, and then they moved on to the cognitive, and then they finished up with the kinetic action-based uh, you know, what do we need to get done? Let's check the boxes, finish the list, as well as the what have we missed, what have we got wrong, where do we need to increase the standards, those kinds of things. And so kind of taking the languages around a circle like that is a very valuable way. It works in a in a regular business where everyone is still in the same building, but it's particularly important in a remote or hybrid environment to make sure that you don't miss out any of the seven communication styles in the way that you address things. And then the other part to that was that the way this particular team worked was that they they all interacted with each other in different ways. So they didn't, it wasn't all just centralized around one manager and then different people doing their different parts. They all interacted with each other as well because there was a lot of creativity involved. And so different teams would be assigned to different uh projects. And so again, they they also had their their little uh sort of summaries of how each one's profile looked, uh, so that when one of them would be maybe they'd be a team of three, like us sitting here today, to understand the three different style blends that they each had, that would help them to remember, oh yeah, I I need to be more cognitive when I'm talking to Meredith, or I need to be more emotive when I'm talking to Nick, or whatever, so that they could uh they could keep that front of mind as they began to interact around whatever it was that they were working on. So with remote, with hybrid, again, you've got to get past just doing it by text. Text can maintain, but it can't create communication. Um, so there has to be a voice-to-voice component, or better still, a face-to-face component, because you you know you've got uh about 30% of it is body language. Um, and that's another reason why when it is a remote work setting, I always encourage people to have their camera on. When they're having some kind of discussion or some kind of meeting, uh, whether it's Teams or Zoom or whatever, have your camera on. Um, because even though you're only looking at a little box on the screen, you're still getting some of the body language. And uh and I help the leaders sometimes to create settings where if they've got two or three people in the same building, pull them into one room and have a camera further away so we can see all of the body language of those three. Um it's a little more difficult to manage that, uh, but at the same time you get the benefit of increasing the connectivity and increasing the understanding.

SPEAKER_01: 32:21

And when you say that sort of conflicts in communication are heightened for virtual and hybrid spaces, do you think that's just because they that there's less communication because you're not in the same room or building as people? Aaron Ross Powell, Jr.

SPEAKER_02: 32:32

Yeah, there's a lot more room for misunderstanding. So if I sent you a text um uh or an email, um the words I use in that email may make perfect sense to me, but you can't hear any tone of voice, you can't see any facial expression. Uh it's very easy to inadvertently say something that's completely misunderstood at the other end.

SPEAKER_01: 32:54

That makes sense. Yeah. I could definitely see that.

SPEAKER_02: 32:56

There's a whole difference between saying, Well, why did you ask me that question? And saying, Why did you ask me that question? Definitely. Those are the same words in an email or a text.

SPEAKER_01: 33:06

I guess same reason why you wouldn't want to have like a serious conversation over text. Absolutely, yes.

SPEAKER_02: 33:11

Yes. And I said earlier how sometimes this blends over into working with couples and and and you know, personal relationships, and I tell them the same, you know, don't break up over text. We've all had misunderstandings over text or over messages, yeah. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01: 33:30

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_02: 33:31

Every great marriage is built on connection. Can you imagine what it would be like if you had a marriage where every conversation brings you closer together rather than further apart? A marriage where what you say is actually understood and not misrepresented. It is possible to have a marriage like that. And if you'd like that, I invite you to go to my website and click on communication IQ for couples. Let's make a start today on your marriage embracing communication mastery.

SPEAKER_00: 34:03

Well, is there anything else you wanted to cover or add before we wrap today, Mark?

SPEAKER_02: 34:07

I think we've covered a lot of ground. Um, and and I love that you've dug into some of the specifics of how communication coaching can make such a difference, because I think a lot of businesses, the the mistake we make is to think, oh, that's just communication. Everybody does that. When actually you don't think that about your accounting or about your sales, you know, you want people to be trained to be better at what they do. Uh, this actually applies across the board to help people be better at what they do and bring their strengths to the table. Um, and that's why I I love to work with those smaller businesses because they can't afford the big guns uh to come in and make a difference. Um, but actually just a little bit of communication coaching can make such a difference to a team, even if it's only three or four people. And uh that's why I love the BBB, because obviously everybody's goal is to be uh doing the best they can in this in the realm that they're they're serving. And I'll have to help them do that.

SPEAKER_01: 35:05

Yeah, it's much more of a skill set, by the way, you've laid it out than I think people realize.

SPEAKER_02: 35:10

It's it's not just a soft skill, there's a whole deal of science to it, and that the beauty of that is you can learn it. You know, I didn't know all this stuff before I started. Um I communicate far better now with people than I ever used to because I understand this stuff. And I that's why I love teaching other people how to understand it too.

SPEAKER_01: 35:27

Yeah. And I just had one more thing that I thought of and then forgot about and then remembered. Um so when it comes to people's style of communicating, I think you mentioned the beginning, it's not just like they're one type. Like it's not like astrology where you're a Pisces or whatever. Yeah, it's a blend, right? So would you say that when you're coaching people in, I guess, in a work setting, is it that they're mostly one type, or does it kind of depend on the scenario for what type is gonna like come to the forefront? What communication style is gonna come to the forefront?

SPEAKER_02: 36:05

Yeah, the way well, it varies between people. Some people have two or three of the styles relatively close together and they they switch between them without even realizing it. And in that case, they need to know that they may be hard to understand to the people around them because they're switching styles. Um it would be the s that's why we call them communication languages. It's like if I suddenly started speaking French in this podcast, you'd be like, wait, where did he go? It would be a miracle because my French is very weak. Um but when somebody has one language uh stronger in their profile than the other six, they will tend to start there until they're aware that the person they're speaking to or with may not be helped by them starting in that style. Um other people may have two or three, and again, you've got to be careful to be clear in which one is needed, but you can even access your seventh language whenever you need to. And so it's understanding all seven that's the key. One of the biggest mistakes I find people make is to identify themselves just by their first language. Um, I had an interesting scenario just a couple of weeks ago. I was working with a home health care um group where they they have a lot of folks doing um you know care for folks in their homes, uh, and these were the staff, the managers of these agents of this agency. And they started out, they only had time and uh budget to look at their primary language, because that's a free profile uh with communication IQ. Uh you can get you can learn your first language for free. Uh but then there's all the other six, and we got about halfway through the two-hour workshop that we were doing, just explaining, okay, so if your first language is this, this is what's gonna look like, your first language is that, this is what it's gonna look like. And they were all clamoring by about halfway through, oh, I need to know what my other ones are. And so the boss by the end of it said, No, we're gonna find some more money and we're actually gonna upgrade you so you know what all seven are. And uh I heard back from them just the other week, and they're like, Oh wow, this really opens things up because now I see that my first language is only part of who I am. I use myself as an example. You can tell from my accent that I'm not American, but I am American. And the way I speak now as an Englishman who went to Canada and then came to America is not purely English. You know, I speak to my brother who's still in England, he will say, I sound American. I I sound English to you, or maybe Australian because there's some Canadian mixed in. But if people don't understand the different uh nuances of the different styles, then you get it all muddled up together. But the more I can understand the specifics, the easier it is to distinguish what what is the style we're speaking, or more importantly, which style do we need to speak? So if we've got a particular challenge uh or a particular uh situation that needs to be addressed, or a particular uh difficulty to resolve, it may be that we don't want to talk in feelings. We maybe don't want to talk in in thinking about the depths of of this. We actually just need to say, so what are the things that need to get done? Because that's what's going to move us forward in the moment. And we can each switch into that do a language when we need to, even if it's only somewhere in the middle for us. Uh, those kinds of things. So identifying yourself just by your first language is a big mistake because it boxes you in. And you mentioned, you know, Pisces and Myers Briggs and Disk. Those all, I mean, I I love profiling and I love people understanding, and Enneagram is one of the very popular ones these days, but I don't like that because again, it puts you in a box. Well, I'm like this.

SPEAKER_01: 39:48

Well, no, you're not like that.

SPEAKER_02: 39:49

You can adapt out of how you are. Uh, this is the only profile I know that helps you build bridges out of your own understanding rather than putting people in a box. And that's what we need, isn't it? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 40:00

And then another thing that came to mind for me is do you find that people are one or a few of their same dominant languages at work as they are in their personal life? Or is it often different?

SPEAKER_02: 40:14

It can be different. It doesn't have to be. So there's no another question I get asked is are are are women more likely to have these ones and men likely to have those? No, they're not. Um but you can have a work profile and a home profile. Uh it depends on the work and how similar or different your work your home setting is. Some people are very similar at work and at home. Uh I would say that's probably a plus on the whole, because you're not switching from one to another. However, some people like to switch from one to another, they like to leave work behind when they leave. Um so there's there's there's dangers and benefits in both directions. Okay. Uh, but very often people will have a different profile at home. So I've had clients where they're like, oh yeah, that third language is the one that I speak all the time at home. Uh or that first language. Um I when I filled out the when I went through the profile, uh I was thinking particularly about work. But now that I look at my social life, I don't actually use that language as much. Uh it's this one. Uh, and so you do tend to adapt. And that in a way, I I I remind people that reinforces the ability to to adapt in any setting. It might be that you need one of your primary work languages at home sometimes. Uh, or it might be the other way around. It might be that you need one of your um home strong languages in a work setting. Um, you don't want to just stay in what you're normally like at work. You can adapt and shift for the benefit of the situation or the benefit of the challenge you're facing.

SPEAKER_01: 41:50

Yeah, really cool. Thank you so much for coming on the show again. We really appreciate having you.

SPEAKER_00: 41:56

Yeah, and Mark, this is definitely now your time to shamelessly plug yourself. So if our listeners want to get connected with you, where should they go?

SPEAKER_02: 42:03

Yeah, I'm very easy to find. My website is simply markburlinson.com. Uh that's as easy as you can get. And there's uh there's three different um buttons right on the front page for that. There's one for business, uh, one for couples, one for individuals. So if some of the listeners are like, oh gosh, yes, I need to fix my spouse, click the click the couples button. That's an area that I've been investing in just recently. But the business button is right there. And remember, of course, that the uh Better Business Bureau members get a discount uh on their coaching. That's uh one of the the advantages of being a BBB member. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 42:36

And you have social media as well?

SPEAKER_02: 42:38

Uh yes, I'm on all pretty much all the social media. I don't I'm not on X. Um I don't have time, don't have time to keep up with that. But I'm on Facebook, I'm on Instagram, Mark Berlinson Coaching. All of the links are on my website at markburlinson.com. You can just click the click the icon and go straight to it.

SPEAKER_00: 42:54

Super easy, yeah. And so for our listeners that aren't aware of this, Mark also has a podcast that he hosts. I certainly do, yes. What's it called and where can we listen to it?

SPEAKER_02: 43:03

It's called the Communication Mastery Podcast. It's a video as well as audio podcast, so it's on YouTube. Um you can search for it there, or you can also uh go to any of your podcast platforms. It's on Apple, it's on Spotify, it's on all of the all of the platforms. Communication Mastery Podcast with me, Mark Bernenson.

SPEAKER_00: 43:22

All right. Well, to all of our listeners, thank you so much for tuning into this episode of The Good Guide to Business.

SPEAKER_01: 43:28

You can follow us on social media at BBB Carolinas. That's on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, LinkedIn, not X, like we mentioned. Um and you can also find The Good Guide to Business on Spotify, Apple Music, wherever else you get your podcasts, and YouTube as well. We release episodes every other Wednesday.

SPEAKER_00: 43:47

We'll see you guys next time.

SPEAKER_02: 44:02

Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. It would mean a lot to me if you'd rate and review the podcast so it helps more listeners to find us. But also, would you give me your feedback on things you'd like to hear about in future episodes? And remember to share the episode with a friend if you see something that would benefit them as well. You can reach me with feedback through my website at markberlinson.com. Just click on the contact button and send me a message. I respond to everyone personally, and I really want to hear from you. So thank you again for listening, sharing, reviewing, and giving me your feedback.